Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I should be asleep but

here I am blogging.

I ignored a call from a man that I've been blind e-mailing (like a blind date but by e-mail). I was watching project runway and didn't want to be bother.

How the hell can I possibly find HIM if I'm not willing to be "bothered".
This guy seems pretty nice but honestly, I'm afraid to fall in love again.

I haven't been on a date since I broke up with my long time boyfriend 3 years ago. I've had a hard time mending my heart. Yet, in the process, I have learned so much about me. Being alone taught me how to be alone and not lonely.
In fact, I'm rarely lonely. It creeps in on occasion, in bed when I want to snuggled.

Seems though, that my being alone bothers everyone else. I get the comments "He's out there for you". "Keep looking". "Your standards are too high".
It's all bullshit. The pool of datable men actually is just a wading pool and I will not lower my standards out of fear of being alone.

I'll call him tomorrow.

1 comment:

Julie said...

Amen, sistah! I'm afraid of the dating pool, I think there has been some major gene mutation thing going on this past 8 years that I've been out of it, and now the leftovers are all as warped and sick as my ex was. I keep hearing there are plenty of great guys out there, but frankly I haven't met one yet!!!!

I haven't watched Project Runway from last night yet so don't tell me anything about it!!!! :)